Big giant hugs, honey. Thank you so much for sharing. The year and a day thing never made sense to me. In my experience, the grief doesn't go away. It just becomes easier to bear. I know you will find a more comfortable place to bear it when you are ready. Until then, if you need to cry and howl or be silent at work, then do it and don't worry about what others think. It's all part of the process. I'm so glad you have an outlet here and feel comfortable sharing with us.