I heart you! This post made me snort juice out of my nose.

I've learned some basic techniques from FoodTV that I otherwise wouldn't have known (Mum didn't teach me how to cook other than microwaving) and knowing some lingo has helped me figure out recipes. But I am always thinking that my pantry must be embarassingly paltry compared to everyone else in the world if they can whip up those crazy recipes with ingredients "on hand".