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More whine for your buck.
Dinner last night was fun. To be honest I had more fun last weekend. C was sick so chose to drive (which yay free taxi) so wasn't drinking. She was surreptiously checking her watch to see what time she could go home at. I managed to entice her to stay out til the end of the night. P was watching her funds as her and her bf are hoping to move in together soon so wasn't up for doing shots or going on anywhere afterwards. S was S, fun and ever so lightly loud. All in all although it was a fun night it was also a very............grown up affair? It was strange, since P has gotten into a serious relationship the dynamic of the group has changed. I feel very much the outsider now. I don't think it's anything concious on their part and it could well be me being over emotional and over sensitive.
An example: Friday before last I was in a taxi home after a night out. I was slighly pissed and chatting away to the taxi driver. One of those late night psyhic chat shows was playing on the radio. I paused as I thought the person calling in sounded familiar. Deciding I was more pissed then I thought I resumed chatting. It was only when the presenter now C... that it clicked. It was C's mother! Her father and mother moved to spain a few years ago to semi retire. They've had their rocky patches. C's mother was phoning into the radio show to say she had left her husband and she was wondering if the psychic could tell her if it was the right thing. Of course the psychic said yes (they never tell them to go back do they). I rang C to see if she knew and she said yeah her mam had come back last week and told them. Fair enough I thought, that she would only want to keep it in the family for the time being. When we were on the way to the resteraunt last night however P let it slip that C had told her and another friend L the day after her mother came home. P brushed it off saying her and L just happened to ask about her mother so C told them. I thought I was pretty close to C. Perhaps not. I didn't make a fuss or let on I was hurt but I was and am. We all have our secrets I suppose, afterall I never told any of them about Dad and his ulcer/bloodtests/freaking out about it. It stands to reason my friends have their own secrets they don't want to share. Except when they share them with my other friends and I'm the last to know.
Is that whats bugging me, that I'm the last to know?
I told them about my date. They of course wanted to ask the hows and where's of how I met him. I came straight out and told them, a dating website. I saw the teeniest bit of judgement before they smiled and said go you. Then they proceeded to warn me about the perils of internet dating. No giving him your address! Always meet in a public place! Always tell someone where you are going! etc etc. In Ireland the whole internet dating thing hasn't really taken off yet and compared to america we are light years behind in the dating process. Over here the acceptable way of meeting your mate is in a pub. Usually you are out with your friends having a good time having a bit too much to drink when a boy will move in for the kill. You kiss (if you have a bit too much to drink perhaps you go home with them) and he asks for your number. A date (drink in the pub) will usually be arranged for the friday. Its a chance to see your date sober for the first drink, if he is deadly dull things will be livened up by alcohol, if both are shy again the alcohol helps. This is repeated for a few more dates until a bunch of your friends and a bunch of his friends all go out. Usually by then the respective friends are already used to referring to you as a couple. Therefore you are exclusive. When my friends heard I had gone out for a sip and see with another guy last Sunday they where a little shocked. "So your double dating" said P. "No" I replied "I'm just dating".
I've had enough time being out of the dating game to realise the "traditional" way just dosen't work for me. I want to date on my terms, I want to meet a guy when we are both sober and can string a sentance together. Also once I am drinking my inhibitions are shall we say lowered and I tend to do things that I would regret when sober. I would rather have been on several dates with a guy and have gotten to know him and then perhaps have a boozy night out.
An example: Friday before last I was in a taxi home after a night out. I was slighly pissed and chatting away to the taxi driver. One of those late night psyhic chat shows was playing on the radio. I paused as I thought the person calling in sounded familiar. Deciding I was more pissed then I thought I resumed chatting. It was only when the presenter now C... that it clicked. It was C's mother! Her father and mother moved to spain a few years ago to semi retire. They've had their rocky patches. C's mother was phoning into the radio show to say she had left her husband and she was wondering if the psychic could tell her if it was the right thing. Of course the psychic said yes (they never tell them to go back do they). I rang C to see if she knew and she said yeah her mam had come back last week and told them. Fair enough I thought, that she would only want to keep it in the family for the time being. When we were on the way to the resteraunt last night however P let it slip that C had told her and another friend L the day after her mother came home. P brushed it off saying her and L just happened to ask about her mother so C told them. I thought I was pretty close to C. Perhaps not. I didn't make a fuss or let on I was hurt but I was and am. We all have our secrets I suppose, afterall I never told any of them about Dad and his ulcer/bloodtests/freaking out about it. It stands to reason my friends have their own secrets they don't want to share. Except when they share them with my other friends and I'm the last to know.
Is that whats bugging me, that I'm the last to know?
I told them about my date. They of course wanted to ask the hows and where's of how I met him. I came straight out and told them, a dating website. I saw the teeniest bit of judgement before they smiled and said go you. Then they proceeded to warn me about the perils of internet dating. No giving him your address! Always meet in a public place! Always tell someone where you are going! etc etc. In Ireland the whole internet dating thing hasn't really taken off yet and compared to america we are light years behind in the dating process. Over here the acceptable way of meeting your mate is in a pub. Usually you are out with your friends having a good time having a bit too much to drink when a boy will move in for the kill. You kiss (if you have a bit too much to drink perhaps you go home with them) and he asks for your number. A date (drink in the pub) will usually be arranged for the friday. Its a chance to see your date sober for the first drink, if he is deadly dull things will be livened up by alcohol, if both are shy again the alcohol helps. This is repeated for a few more dates until a bunch of your friends and a bunch of his friends all go out. Usually by then the respective friends are already used to referring to you as a couple. Therefore you are exclusive. When my friends heard I had gone out for a sip and see with another guy last Sunday they where a little shocked. "So your double dating" said P. "No" I replied "I'm just dating".
I've had enough time being out of the dating game to realise the "traditional" way just dosen't work for me. I want to date on my terms, I want to meet a guy when we are both sober and can string a sentance together. Also once I am drinking my inhibitions are shall we say lowered and I tend to do things that I would regret when sober. I would rather have been on several dates with a guy and have gotten to know him and then perhaps have a boozy night out.
no subject
I met my Brian online. We met up in a public place. I followed *some* of the rules, and it's worked out. You are a smart cookie. You will work out the hows and the whys, and tradition will have its place. Trust yourself.