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baasheepMam came home today. It all went surprisingly smooth with the hospital discharge. The home oxygen came on time. The doctors came when they were supposed to and with the correct prescriptions and letters for our own gp. They even put in an order then and there for a portable oxygen kit and let us know who to get onto for a wheelchair. The pallative nurse was lovely as always and came along with Mam's medication list including the names of the pills, what they are for, the dosage and how many times a day to give them to her. Not including the various sachets and vitamin pink goo, she's on about twenty pills a day. We got one of those pill organisers and with prior prepartion of the pills its all going fairly smoothly so far. We have to make sure that we prepare the pills a day in advance otherwise its just too confusing. I'll admit I'm nervous about them. Looking up a few names online they are fairly heavy shit and any fuck up on the dosage will not have good results. At all.
So far so good yes?
The not so smooth bits..
Mam can barely lift her legs so trying to step into the porch and the house itself was a trial. She got so lightheaded she had to sit down in the hall until she stopped getting pains in her chest. She has quite a lot of swelling in her feet, water retention, she can barely feel the ground when shes walking so is stumbling a lot. She had to use the bathroom and managed to get up the stairs without my help and go. When she came out however I had to help her to her bed to lie down because she was lightheaded again. I started freaking out (not out loud but in my mind) when her lips and ears turned blue. Another not so smooth bit, although the home oxygen machine is a fairly dinky thing, appearances are deceiving and it weighs about five stone. There was no way I could get it up the stairs. I managed to get it out into the hall, plug it in and wind the cord upstairs (theres about thirty feet of it to play with). After fifteen minutes she was well enough to come back down.
Mam herself is also fairly down as she starts to come to terms with the fact twenty four hour oxygen and inordinate amounts of pills now have to be part of her daily routine. She needs help dressing and I got a lump in my throat when I saw her naked, just how much weight she's lost. Her shoulder blades look like they are trying to cut through her skin. She also has to wear a diaper which is not helping her low feeling. She didn't want Dad to know about this. She got stuck on the toilet tonight and he had to go in and help her so thats that secret out.
I'll be honest I am completely overwhelmed by this. I know I just have to get into a routine and once that happens it will start to be ok. Comparing her now to the way she was just before she went into hospital, it's hard/sad how quickly she's gone downhill. Although we thought she would be fairly active when she got home its clear that this is not going to be the case and she will need someone to be around twenty four hours a day. She hasn't started to be resentful yet but being home is a novelty and I have a feeling she is going to get fed up of dad or myself looking over her shoulder. How do we walk that fine line of keeping her as independant as she can be without compromising on her safety?
So far so good yes?
The not so smooth bits..
Mam can barely lift her legs so trying to step into the porch and the house itself was a trial. She got so lightheaded she had to sit down in the hall until she stopped getting pains in her chest. She has quite a lot of swelling in her feet, water retention, she can barely feel the ground when shes walking so is stumbling a lot. She had to use the bathroom and managed to get up the stairs without my help and go. When she came out however I had to help her to her bed to lie down because she was lightheaded again. I started freaking out (not out loud but in my mind) when her lips and ears turned blue. Another not so smooth bit, although the home oxygen machine is a fairly dinky thing, appearances are deceiving and it weighs about five stone. There was no way I could get it up the stairs. I managed to get it out into the hall, plug it in and wind the cord upstairs (theres about thirty feet of it to play with). After fifteen minutes she was well enough to come back down.
Mam herself is also fairly down as she starts to come to terms with the fact twenty four hour oxygen and inordinate amounts of pills now have to be part of her daily routine. She needs help dressing and I got a lump in my throat when I saw her naked, just how much weight she's lost. Her shoulder blades look like they are trying to cut through her skin. She also has to wear a diaper which is not helping her low feeling. She didn't want Dad to know about this. She got stuck on the toilet tonight and he had to go in and help her so thats that secret out.
I'll be honest I am completely overwhelmed by this. I know I just have to get into a routine and once that happens it will start to be ok. Comparing her now to the way she was just before she went into hospital, it's hard/sad how quickly she's gone downhill. Although we thought she would be fairly active when she got home its clear that this is not going to be the case and she will need someone to be around twenty four hours a day. She hasn't started to be resentful yet but being home is a novelty and I have a feeling she is going to get fed up of dad or myself looking over her shoulder. How do we walk that fine line of keeping her as independant as she can be without compromising on her safety?
