Tis I the Fluff

Last semester of college started tonight, the two subjects this term are introduction to business law and accounting 2. Law was really interesting, it was just an overview tonight (barristers v solicitors etc) but it kept my attention and I even managed to ask some semi relevant questions. Accounting I have always found difficult but the lecturer is loooovely, same guy we had last term for accounting 1. He explains the most basic obvious things without making you feel stupid. We are going to try covering the curriculum while bringing relevant balance sheets, analysis etc into it (in irish financial news one of our main banks has been taken over by the goverment after the ceo hid 100mil in loans which prompted the financial regulator to resign)to keep it interesting.

I am trying to think more long term on the college thing too as in do I want to go on and do the degree. I'm finding it tough at the moment only doing one evening a week but the degree is two evenings a week plus saturdays. For three to four years. On the plus side I'll probably have saved loads as I'll be too exhausted to have a social life. Sigh. Aside from the financial burden this degree will bring (work pay for the course only if I pass the exam and per semester so I have to pony up the money first which will mean taking out a loan)I'm not entirely sure I even want to stay in this line of work. I've been feeling pretty unsatisfied for a while now and while I don't dislike my job I am feeling very meh about it. However in this dwindling craptastic recession heading economy it seems like a really stupid idea to leave the job and the security it brings.

Sigh what to do what to do :/

What a week, first off my laptop charger died and I only managed to get it replaced today. So I've been managing to keep up with my bloggy friends on my iphone but its not really conducive to typing out replies.

It's been a tough week ending up with me making a rather large fuck up in work, one of many over the past few weeks and openly sobbing at my desk. Yeah professional. Bosslady took me into another room and I confessed how hard I've been finding the work/college balance. Exams are next week. I finish work and go to the college library where I stay til 9pm. I get home at ten get dinner and go to bed at 11. Where I can't sleep. Because I'm running over all the stuff I didn't get to study. I'm exhausted but don't want to turn to sleeping pills as they zombify me. I forced myself to take time off and have been to the cinema and hanging with friends but at the back of my mind I feel incredibly guilty for not studying. Bosslady told me to focus on college and shes going to try and take some of my work off me. Again I feel guilty because she has her own jobs to be doing and now some of mine.

I think it's more then just exams though, the past few weeks I have been feeling down. Blue. Sad. Tears are a daily occurence. I don't like this supposedly festive season. I don't want to get my friends down because they do. Its easy to put a smiley face on when they are around. Its when I'm alone I just feel empty. Empty and stressed. So not really empty I guess.

In other news friendboy (he of the wanting a bootie call) called me this morning to let me know he's now seeing someone. It's only been 10 days but its "intense". Ummmm ok I'm happy for him but I don't really need to hear how wonderful she makes him feel, how she tells him he's so much better then her last bf and isn't it great they only live 5 minutes away from each other so they can see each other all the time! Nor do I need to see the rapturous bookface status updates either.

Sigh I'm one big ball of negative lately, hopefully when the exams are over normal services will be resumed.

http://www.rte.ie/news/2008/0714/davy.html

So looks like I might be out of a job. There was no warning bar a quick word from our boss that bad news was on the way before we all had to go into a meeting with the CEO. 4 jobs from our section have to go. Hopefully we will know who stays and who goes by the start of next week. I use hopefully in a sarcastic way. There was just so much tension in the office afterwards. Eugh. I am seriously fucked if I'm made redundant. Bascially for every year of service you are entitled to six weeks pay. Seeing as I've been there less then a year I get... oooh a whole 5 weeks pay or thereabouts. That combined with me having to work a back month when I started gives me two monthes to find a job before I have to start breaking into my meager savings. Fun times. They stressed that if people wanted to do voluntary redundancies they would take take on board and I did hear some of the old timers discussing it in a rather excited way. Some of them have been there for 20 years which is roughly two years redundancy which lets face it is pretty sweet. They also told us for the people who are made redundant they will do everything they can to help us find new jobs and also get professional cv type people in to make our cv look as good as possible.

I'm pissed that it has come to this but not angry. We all knew the northern rock and sub prime mortgage credit crunch would hit us sooner or later and even the politicans are starting to mutter about Ireland being on the brink of recession. I don't regret leaving my old job though I will be very sad if it turns out I am one of the ones who have to go. August 15th are when the redundancies come into effect.



Andria until I know wheter my job is safe I can't commit to crowfest. I am so sorry, I was really looking forward to meeting you, your family and all the other siters :(

So my last day in work was very anti climatic. A little sad because I had been there five years and my present was a hundred euro gift voucher. I mean yay but at the same time I would have appreciated a little more thought and an actual present rather then the non effort that goes into a gift voucher. Its one of the top reasons I don't gift them to people unless they specifically ask for it. The speech tself was quite funny - if only watching my boss who hates me trying to find nice things to say. She fell back on the reliable thanking me for my years of service and saying I would be missed. I followed suit and thanked my co workers and said I would miss them. I thought I would feel a lot sadder then I do. I got a card which they plus all the dealers had signed which does mean more to me then a gift voucher. Roll on Monday! A new job and hopefully the start of good things. I worry if I have made the right move starting a new job. With all thats happened in the past few months I wonder if I shouldn't have waited a while. I read the lovely snickollets blog a few weeks back and this entry really struck a chord with me. She speaks of not making rash decisions after the death of a loved one. The 8th of this month marked the 16 week anniversay of Mams passing. Am I moving too quickly? I guess my question will be answered next week.

In other news I registered for college. Starting the 24th of september I will be studying for a diploma in business. Its a two year course and it involves one evening a week of classes (Monday) and I'd imagine a shit load of studying. I'm nervous. I haven't been in any sort of class based curriculum since 2002 and my experiances of Irelands educational system to date haven't been fantastic. It may be different though when its my own money on the line and studying as an adult with a definite goal in mind rather then a teenager in full time college with no idea what she wanted out of life. The way I'm trying to look at it is that a. it will look good on my cv and b. no matter what I want to do in life I probably will need some sort of business skills so this seems like a good all round course. It looks like the course will follow a standard college year too ie. terms in fall, winter and holiday in the summer. So hopefully next summer I will take a writing course for fun.

My next project is trying to lose some of this damn weight. I've been out for lunch and dinner every day this week and I can see my belly expanding before my eyes! I'm very unenthused about going back to weight watchers but I know it works so I'm just going to suck it up get on the scales and gasp in horror. Can anyone point me to some ww inspired receipes? I need some new receipes to add to my collection. Hopefully that will incentivise me!