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in brief...
Dec. 27th, 2007 05:17 pmXmas day wasn't as bad as I anticipated. In fact other then a trip to the cemetary to lay a wreath on the grave and having an empty seat at the dinner table it was much like any other xmas. In a way it was quite peaceful knowing that this year none of the family would be expecting us to visit or indeed to answer the phone. After a fabulous dinner made by yours truely Da and I both retreated to our respective rooms, Da to read his new book that I got him and myself to sleep off the stodge. Thanks to the wonder that is digital tv I wasn't forced to watch xmas tv but instead watched eygpt day on discovery. I loves me some documenteries.
I have been feeling very unsocial lately and I've tried not to take it out on my friends when they text and ring me. I know they are just doing it out of worry for me and I'm determined to step out of this rut I find myself in, sooooo I am going to a new years eve dinner a friend is throwing. It will be full of couples most of whom I know quite well. I have't really shared this but lately I have been feeling resentment toward all these happy couples in my life. I could have really done with someone to lean on when Mam died, still could to be honest. It would be lovely to wake up with someone and lean in for a morning cuddle. The dog just isn't the same! I'm in a bit of a dating funk. I think Dave* has withdrawn from me a bit, we've gone two days without im'ing. I know xmas isn't a fabulous time of year what with his Mam gone but I get the feeling something else is going on. I also got an email from one of the guys on OKC who disappeared off the map. It turns out after we traded numbers he met a girl and has been seeing her since. Thats cool but dammit its typical! Still at least he had the manners to let me know.
Anyways back to the dinner. I'm going but have decided not to stay to ring the new year in. I think I might lose the reason if 12 comes clanging around and I have to witness all the couples smooching. So at 10.30 - 11pm I will retreat home to my bed with a sleeping pill and wake up bright and fresh on new years day. A fabulous plan I think.
Less of the bitter betty and more of the calm cathy I think...
*internet guy I met on OKC. Not his real name.
I have been feeling very unsocial lately and I've tried not to take it out on my friends when they text and ring me. I know they are just doing it out of worry for me and I'm determined to step out of this rut I find myself in, sooooo I am going to a new years eve dinner a friend is throwing. It will be full of couples most of whom I know quite well. I have't really shared this but lately I have been feeling resentment toward all these happy couples in my life. I could have really done with someone to lean on when Mam died, still could to be honest. It would be lovely to wake up with someone and lean in for a morning cuddle. The dog just isn't the same! I'm in a bit of a dating funk. I think Dave* has withdrawn from me a bit, we've gone two days without im'ing. I know xmas isn't a fabulous time of year what with his Mam gone but I get the feeling something else is going on. I also got an email from one of the guys on OKC who disappeared off the map. It turns out after we traded numbers he met a girl and has been seeing her since. Thats cool but dammit its typical! Still at least he had the manners to let me know.
Anyways back to the dinner. I'm going but have decided not to stay to ring the new year in. I think I might lose the reason if 12 comes clanging around and I have to witness all the couples smooching. So at 10.30 - 11pm I will retreat home to my bed with a sleeping pill and wake up bright and fresh on new years day. A fabulous plan I think.
Less of the bitter betty and more of the calm cathy I think...
*internet guy I met on OKC. Not his real name.
