In which I introspect.

[baasheep]

What a week, first off my laptop charger died and I only managed to get it replaced today. So I've been managing to keep up with my bloggy friends on my iphone but its not really conducive to typing out replies.

It's been a tough week ending up with me making a rather large fuck up in work, one of many over the past few weeks and openly sobbing at my desk. Yeah professional. Bosslady took me into another room and I confessed how hard I've been finding the work/college balance. Exams are next week. I finish work and go to the college library where I stay til 9pm. I get home at ten get dinner and go to bed at 11. Where I can't sleep. Because I'm running over all the stuff I didn't get to study. I'm exhausted but don't want to turn to sleeping pills as they zombify me. I forced myself to take time off and have been to the cinema and hanging with friends but at the back of my mind I feel incredibly guilty for not studying. Bosslady told me to focus on college and shes going to try and take some of my work off me. Again I feel guilty because she has her own jobs to be doing and now some of mine.

I think it's more then just exams though, the past few weeks I have been feeling down. Blue. Sad. Tears are a daily occurence. I don't like this supposedly festive season. I don't want to get my friends down because they do. Its easy to put a smiley face on when they are around. Its when I'm alone I just feel empty. Empty and stressed. So not really empty I guess.

In other news friendboy (he of the wanting a bootie call) called me this morning to let me know he's now seeing someone. It's only been 10 days but its "intense". Ummmm ok I'm happy for him but I don't really need to hear how wonderful she makes him feel, how she tells him he's so much better then her last bf and isn't it great they only live 5 minutes away from each other so they can see each other all the time! Nor do I need to see the rapturous bookface status updates either.

Sigh I'm one big ball of negative lately, hopefully when the exams are over normal services will be resumed.

Comments

[crowjoy.livejournal.com]

Big big hugs Fluff. I wish I could smother you with kids and Gilberto and all the zesterlove we have. I'm sorry I let the girls (all 3 of them) eat all of the mac n cheese I bought for you, you could be eating some right now. :(

But I resolve again to get you some! I should prepare the box and have it with me to mail the day I buy them, never even let them into the house. :)
xxooxx

[baasheep.livejournal.com]

Heh, I don't blame the girls for eating it, it's manna from the gods afterall :)
xxx

[nieci.livejournal.com]

*big squeezy hugs* Fluff. Try not to feel guilty for taking much needed breaks, whether from studying or work. I'm glad your BossLady is understanding. Be gentle with yourself.

[pom-e-granate.livejournal.com]

{{{fluff}}}

[schmanc3.livejournal.com]

I understand, Fluff . . . I find this "festive" time of year hard too. Big, big hugs.

[cyros.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, Fluff :(

[thehula.livejournal.com]

*squeeze*

[puppie.livejournal.com]

{{{baasheep}}}

[pollyhyper.livejournal.com]

Hugs, Fluffy. The holidays can be really rough when they remind you so much of someone you have lost. Be there for your dad because I'm sure it's just as rough on him.
Not to mention this weather does nothing good for our spirits. More hugs!