Tis I the Fluff

Mam came home today. It all went surprisingly smooth with the hospital discharge. The home oxygen came on time. The doctors came when they were supposed to and with the correct prescriptions and letters for our own gp. They even put in an order then and there for a portable oxygen kit and let us know who to get onto for a wheelchair. The pallative nurse was lovely as always and came along with Mam's medication list including the names of the pills, what they are for, the dosage and how many times a day to give them to her. Not including the various sachets and vitamin pink goo, she's on about twenty pills a day. We got one of those pill organisers and with prior prepartion of the pills its all going fairly smoothly so far. We have to make sure that we prepare the pills a day in advance otherwise its just too confusing. I'll admit I'm nervous about them. Looking up a few names online they are fairly heavy shit and any fuck up on the dosage will not have good results. At all.

So far so good yes?

( Jump )

I was talking about this to a friend the other night when it hit me...BOIING... quarter life crisis. I think this may be why Ive been putting this pressure on myself to find me a man. From a quick straw poll amongst my friends (in my head didnt actually ask them) 25 seems to be around the age where relationships are made or broken. If they are made peachy! Marriage, house, baby etc. If you choose this route then 30 seems to be the age where my friends (and maybe everyone) seems to re-evalutate the relationship and stay or go. If on the other hand the relationship is broken then you go your seperate ways and your a singleton again. Then the pressure starts wheter it be internal or external (both can also be equally annoying you can close the door on the external but that inner voice is a persistent little fucker). If mid twenties are the age when people settle down then how do you accept yourself as a singleton? I havent learnt how to do that yet and I wish there was a class I could take! At least I could pass that. Something to make me feel better. Something to make me feel whole. Thats the issue. I feel like I am waiting for something....what if it(him)never comes? When do I stop waiting? How do I stop waiting? I dont think it would be healthy for me to get into a relationship until I get this issue resolved. If I did and 30 swung around and if he reevaluted and discovered that no he didnt want to be with me I have an ominous feeling I would be beyond crushed. I dont like to think too hard about that(maybe I should) for obvious reasons. I don't have an answer, something snappy to end with.

I'm musing...