I don't like change it seems...

[baasheep]

It came out of the blue. A former co-worker of mine who I look up to enormously and had a bit of a girl crush on when we worked together sent me an email. She asked about my christmas my new year and how my Dad was doing. Then she dropped the bombshell "I had a bit of a dry one cos guess what, I'm preggers!" My jaw dropped and I spent a good minute or so staring at the screen before I replied. You see she was always the one I looked up to as a singleton. Even when she got with her boyfriend and moved in with him she always retained that streak of independance, that hey why don't we try this salsa club it starts tonight at 8 in an email sent at 5 type of thing. I'm afraid she'll lose that and like so many of my friends who have met the one and/or have a baby have less and less time for her friends aka me. Sigh it's selfish I know the baby and their spouse should of course be their main priority. However it's tough out there as a singleton and my friendships really matter to me perhaps they are not reciprocated as I would hope but I am trying to understand and accept this.

Comments

[puppie.livejournal.com]

Ugh. I always mourn when I hear a friend is pregnant, because I know that by the time that kid is 1 year old, that friend will have dropped off the face of the earth, never to be heard from again.

My sympathies, kiddo.

[cyros.livejournal.com]

That is so sad :( I would think by a year, the crazy chaos stage would be over and assuming everyone had kept in touch periodically, things could go back to normal? I didn't have local friends, but I assume that is what would have happened.

[baasheep.livejournal.com]

Its happened like that for one or two of my friends where a bit of gentle prodding will result in them being sociable and leaving their baby/toddlers for a few hours or I will go over to them. A few on the other hand who I thought were close friends have pretty much said I'll be doing x at y time, I should be able to fit you in then. That pisses me off the "fitting me in" instead of making time for me like I make time for them yanno..

[smlhappy.livejournal.com]

I think it's fair to be concerned, but I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. A friend of mine has a kiddo, and while we don't hang out as often as we used to, she still joins me in tearing up a dance floor when she can. If she DOES drop off the face of the earth, by all means, that sucks, and you can have a convo with her about it if you feel it would help, but in the meantime, maybe wait and see if she actually falls into that category? I hope she surprises you!

[baasheep.livejournal.com]

I hope so too, don't get me wrong I'm not anti kid or anything like that :)

[guivers.livejournal.com]

I totally feel you, on all of those. My best gal was the one who didn't want to get married and have kids, and now she's married with 2 kids, and IS totally different than she used to be. And she's happy, but I know it's not exactly what she wanted for herself, and that makes me sad.

I also miss our friendship/the time we used to be able to spend together. Don't feel bad about being upset. Your feelings are what they are. Of course, I'm sure you're happy for her too, and that's what good friends do, but good friends are sad when things happen that can change a friendship, so you're perfectly within your rights there. *Hugs* and also congrats, because you'll end up being the cool 'auntie', and that's an awesome and amazing thing too. There's nothing better than being the one to give gifts and spend time, and be doted on by a young child, and then being able to give them back to mom once they get cranky. :)